Blog Post 5: Perfect Families and Self Harming

What is a perfect family? Three meals a day? Happily married parents? Basically, everything a child can ever dream of having: Food, Shelter, Clothing, Security, Quality Education, Loving Parents etc. But why is that some of the articles that I've read about self harming often the self harmers come from a good or dare I say a "Perfect Family"?

I have read this article about a self harming teen, Sophie, written by her mother Anna Stone entitled Self-harm: why would she cut herself? (not their real names for privacy as this story concerns very intimate and personal matters). It was one of the interesting self harm cases that I have read. One day, Sophie rang up her mom from the other side of London saying that she can't go home by riding the tube(an underground transport system in London) because the cut from her foot was hurting too much so she was asking if she can take the taxi cab home instead. Her mother said Yes immediately of course. When Sophie got home she was clearly looking ill so her mother asked to see how bad the cut from her foot was. Hesitantly, Sophie took off her shoes. Her mother was shocked of how serious the wound was. Her foot is swelling, purplish in color, and she was feverish. They went to the hospital and Sophie was diagnosed to have a cellulitis. It is a bacterial infection so she was put on antibiotic drip in the children's ward. As the nurses undressed her to put the hospital clothes on her she struggled to cover her forearms. Then and there, her mother saw a series of finely cut scars, some were fresh and newly cut, some where fully healed. Sophie told her mother that she allowed her foot to be infected and she wanted to die. Her mother asked her why  did she do that and Sophie described it as a relief from intense pressure like she's burting out of her skin like a sausage under the grill. However, what Sophie's mother cannot understand is that she goes to an all girls' school, she's clever, funny, beautiful and without a care in the world. Apparently, what they hadn't considered is, in a school like Sophie's, competitiveness could apply not only to academic work, looks or popularity but also to self harm. Sophie made friends with the wrong people. At 14 years old she started self harming. Not that peer pressure is the only factor that urged her to self harm but it somewhat encouraged her to do so. Her friends and her compare on who has the multiple scars, deepest cuts, or who had cut themselves just before the start of a lesson in the school toilet etc. Her parents tried talking to her but Sophie refused to do so. Not to her parents, grandparents or godparents. She is also terrified to take anti-depressant pills so they didn't force her. But she did agree to talk to a complete stranger. Her therapist. Slowly and gradually Sophie gained recovery she didn't need the feel to cut herself after receiving a reprimand from her mother nor does her mother  worry that much anymore to find blades or any sharp material that she can use to injure herself. 

An important statement from the article written by Anna Stone is "Cutting is, however, an addiction; another young woman told me that it’s as if there are two worlds, 'the clean, white world everyone else knows, and the secret world of blood and filth underneath' " There is a world that exists only to self harmers but not to us. We must try to understand them and be gentle to them because deep  inside they are such fragile creatures living in this hostile and morbid world.

Another article that I have read is about Tallulah Wilson written by Jemima Owen entitled 
The internet didn't kill Tallulah Wilson, but nor did it do much to help her. She is one of the most famous and viral self harmers that I have read about. She raised controversies to the blogging website Tumblr. Articles often described her as this beautiful, talented, and privileged young lady. Especially regarding to her exceptional gift for Ballet. 
According to Tallulah's mother she was addicted to tumblr. She would spend hours and hours blogging about her alter ego as a wild cocaine-snorting drinker. Her mother saw pictures of Tallulah posted on her blog wherein she pulls her hair out of rage and doing sorts of stuff to harm herself. When she discovered her blog and saw this concerning pictures she banned her from it and contacted tumblr to bring it down. Tallulah became depressed when she lost her blog along with her 18,000 followers that she claims to "like me for who I am" she then took her life on the tracks at St. Pancras Station in October 2012. This made tumblr ban and remove pages promoting self harm or posts with triggering content. 

"Young people are more likely to move away from the negative seduction of these sites if they find real companionship and non-judgmental understanding. That is why it is so important to talk openly, to raise awareness in schools and at home, and to support families seeking help." This was written by Ms. Owen in the latter part of her article and I think this should serve an awareness for people who does not take self harming seriously. If you see someone from your school without any friends try and talk to them. They might dismiss you, yes, but at least they will know that they are not alone.